Rant

How can you explain what lies in the void? something beyond space and time, inside the realm of nothingness? for one you cant because words do not exist, thought does, but its a lot harder to translate void thought to non-void thought even when telepathy is possible through certain hacked points of the known space and time. Void and Space/Time concerns are largely different, the lack of linear time imposes a simultaneous and instantaneous happening of everything for ever and ever, it can be  very disorienting for a lot of Voiders that's why some decide to come into a space/time universe to get some perspective.

Day 6

Day 6


Break them like dogs. Throw them a bone or rub their belly when they do what you want. Scream at them. Threaten to throw a chair on them, intimidate them till their soul cowers and they have no free will to act. That's what the world does to you. It makes me sick.
I had a good day without you, but you had to write :/

Day 4

Day 4


In case you need help trying to fix me let me show you how I solve problems via a visual representation of the process

You see any time I need to tackle the problem I have to process all these layers, in most cases ensuring that that problem doesnt see the light of day again, ever. Thanks in advance

I didn't ask for this, why do you keep coming back.

I missed you too :)

Day 1-3

Day 1

Is it all right to accept paid servitude?
NO

Is it alright to provide service if compensated for it?
YES

Which do you feel you are doing?
I think I'm doing the 2nd but what I'm really doing is the 1st

Do you feel guilt ridden for not giving enough, or not doing enough?
YES all the time?

Do you do enough?
Nope

Why not?
I'm lulled by the stability of a job, it seems like you can get away with alot.

I asked why don't you do enough?
Look I told you I don't feel like it

Why don't you feel like it?
There isn't any motivation, its not like I'm doing something that I feel very passionately about. I'm mildly interested in being competent at my job

Are there any other factors demoralizing your everyday outlook towards life?
Does it matter? If I said there were wouldn't I just be finding excuses? look can you help me or not?

I don't know do you think I can help you?
This is stupid and a waste of time, its all the same, no you cant, if I cant help me then you cant either

You have your answer then, but why do you think you cant help yourself?
.....I'm just too weak, and stupid, I don't look it but I am exactly that; weak and stupid. Maybe I was born this way maybe I wasn't I'm too stupid to figure it out or too weak to attempt it. I have no true calling, I cant remember feeling strongly about anything, I'm apathetic, I bore myself...... Hey stop psycho judging me.

But isn't that why you came to me? and to be honest I don't need to psycho analyse anything, you are telling me all I need to know
Why do you "need" to know anyway you creepazoid.

Ignoring the unstable and emotional outbursts from your very loaded answers I can summarize that you thoroughly believe that you are a hopeless case. you were right I cant help you and you cant help you, you are very hopeless, this conversation is extremely pointless, I was a blank paper a few minutes ago full of possibility, now I'm a rant for a pitiful excuse of a human.

Sigh, you started out so promising with those precise questions about jobs, they were so logical and professional in their construction, I thought you could. But you are right you are only paper after all.


Day 2

Hi, I bought you and can write on you, haha!

You are mad

I know

Go away


Day 3

That was wrong of me to say that I can write on you because I bought you, that makes me no better than people who I work for, they bought me so they can use me.

They didn't buy you, its in your head,

But they did, you cant convince me otherwise

Ahh, so why are you writing on me if you believe I cant help you and also if you think its wrong to write in me because you bought me

Well I thought about it, as I have started writing in you in the first place, it wouldn't be nice to waste you or take pages out give you to someone else, that would be tacky.

You could give me to a needy kid who needs a notebook to do his homework in.

Err, I could couldn't I..... do you want to go a needy kid?

I don't want anything, I'm just paper. jeez! stop anthropomorphizing the shit out of me.

You are rather mean you know

You are rather needy you know

Its a weekend I'm writing in a diary, of course I'm needy. I need you, fix me? make me see how awesome I am, that there might be some overlooked quality in me by me that would totally explain why I'm pathetic, redeem me,  forgive me, make me cooler.

You are too obsessed with your self

And.. that makes me cooler?

No

You are too hard on me, has it occurred to you that without me you are just potential but potential is nothing if not realised.

..... Shutup








Never got the dog

I didn't get the dog after all, but this blog is coming back!!

To get a pet or not to get a pet


I've always viewed having pets as a liability and a tragedy just waiting to happen but as I grow older and way wiser than my previous self I have come realize that liabilities and tragedies will come your way any ways so why not have the most convenient pick. So where is this all coming from? one may ask, well its coming from this apparent human need to take care of someone/something and get some in return. It just so happens you could get that from people too, its' just people are way to independent with their own lives and agendas, you can not rely on them, they think too much feel too much and their emotions and needs are not convenient if you plan on having a busy ( even if uneventful  life yourself, So as I see it its way too much work for a bit of care ( I don't need much, its a problem maybe but the verdicts not out on that definitively ). You could also care about inanimate objects but that's pretty much a one street, they don't need you that much either, unless its a very old, very expensive painting that needs to be kept safe and also in one piece by "special" methods. So that leaves me with the pet option and then which pet dilemma, I like cats but they are distant and cold and I'm already that so I cant have two of those going around the house, then there are fish but they can so very conveniently be turned into food ( But oh so pretty and colourful). That of course leaves Dogs, I think like dogs, I think I can get along with them.They are cute and trainable and generally nice unless they get rabies. Also I might not want to be the crazy cat person, or the crazy snake lady either so Dog it is. The breed that I would most want (Siberian Husky) would probably die because of the clime so would have to settle for a mid-east breed. So the agenda  for the next 6 months is set.


Note: Image taken from pupmart site

How

“How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart, you begin to understand, there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep...that have taken hold.” ~Frodo

My Day


My day is done and now I turn, To where I call home,
My day is done and now my wings seek a familiar flight,
All I did and all I learnt, Now I put aside,
For my day is done and now I rest, No rule now I abide,
So bring forth what I was promised then,
I've done my time honest true,
I've done my chores,
I've done my tasks and now I long for you.

Live

There is no possible excuse for not living, there is no good one anyway, so you do nothing and let life happen to you, So your bare minimum goal is to distract your self long enough? to what end? In case you are a believer then doing nothing doesn't warrant heaven, however if you are aiming for some warmer climes in your afterlife I guess a life of passivity could be the lifestyle option for you (score *wink*), I'm not judging.. just saying.  If you are NOT a believer then you truly have no excuse not even a "maybe/sorta" kind, you only have this one life. Either way please do not let your life be something that you watch from a distance, do not get numb, do not adapt to the point of loosing yourself. Feel love, anger, hope and disappointment, the perfection of a good cup of tea. Live your life with passion of a wild fire ( okay don't destroy everything in your path but more like encompass everything in your path ) and not a bunsen burner ( though undoubtedly I do like bunsen burners, but the point is that its "tame" fire). So quoting the words which actually brought on this bout of "Self-Help / Feel Good " styled rant:

"You are young and life is long
& there is time to kill today 
& then one day you find ten years have got behind you 
No one told you when to run 
You missed the starting gun."
Time, Pink Floyd
So life is too wonderful not be appreciated, this universe too awe inspiring not to be marvelled at, Humans too interesting to be ignored ( not even the stupid ones ) and our mistakes too big too be left alone and not sorted out.